How Your Stubborn Nature Blocks Your Joy

How Your Stubborn Nature Blocks Your Joy

With great responsibility, comes great power.

The more you accept of the first — for your happiness, unhappiness, and all else — the more you are given of the latter.

Sounds like a deal,

  The Universe

Have you ever looked at your life and wondered how you go to where you are? And when you have, are you happy with where you are?

In the past, I have looked at my life and wondered how I got to where I was. I was with someone who made me cry more than they made me laugh. I was poor and struggling. I was anything but happy. It took me a very long time to realize that I was to blame for my situation and I was the only one who could change it.

I'm stubborn. It's a simple statement because it's a simple truth. I get tunnel vision very easily and can get stuck in a place where other solutions just don't occur to me. It has taken me most of my life to realize how much this part of my nature was keeping me from being happy.

For example, in relationships, I stubbornly chose the same person over and over and was shocked when I was left in the same unhappy place. I picked the wounded warrior and he always left me more wounded than I was when I found him. I supported him without reciprocal support. I loved him, often without love in return. And I stayed because I stubbornly believed I could change him into the loving man I truly wanted for myself. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that it dawned on me that if I changed myself, my patterns, my habits, I would open the door to finding a loving man who would meet my needs instead of dismissing them. And then I literally walked into a space and there he was.

Take a moment to look at your life right now. Are you happy? What do you wish were different? What would you keep the same?

If you're not happy, why aren't you? What's holding you back from being happy? Is it something you can control, like your job, or is it something you cannot control, like changing someone else?

If you can control it, make the change. Don't stay with a job you hate because you fear what will come after it. I did that for decades before I realized that what I do now, coaching and advising clients, is what truly makes me happy. The ability to do it from my own home makes it so much better for me because it removes the anxiety I have about being out and about so much. I feared that I wouldn't be able to be successful, and so I didn't try and I remained miserable.

If you cannot control what is making you unhappy, you can control how you react to it. That's where you need to focus your energies. I have several clients who react with anger, frustration, and despair whenever they connect with their romantic partner and that partner doesn't do what they expect them to do about a given situation. This just pours more of your energy into the negativity you are keeping in your life.

Remember that energy flows where focus goes, so the more you focus on what you don't love about your life, the more of it you'll get. The more you try to change someone who isn't ready to change, the more frustration you'll face in your relationship. The more stubborn you are about making changes you can control, the longer you'll be stuck where you are and unhappy.

In order to release yourself from the prison your stubborn nature has locked you into, you must release your need to be 100% in control of everything in your life, and know that sometimes the roller coaster is going to make your stomach twist and your brow sweat, but in the end, the ride will be worth it.

You can download this worksheet to begin your journey to being happier in your life.

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Are You Being Yourself?

Are you being yourself?

Have you considered how much of your true self you keep hidden from the world? Have you thought about why you choose to hide these parts of yourself and what you might be missing out on by doing so?

I know it isn't always easy to be yourself in all situations, but I've learned from hard experience that the more often I am fully my authentic self, the better my life is.

It was only when I pretended I was fine, rather than actually being fine, that I found myself becoming resentful of the people in my life who took me at my word and treated me like I was fine. When I tell people I'm hurting, depressed, or anxious, I have found that the people in my life who matter offer help rather than the criticism I once expected from others when I admitted to my illnesses. Many of them share the same issues and therefore don't judge how I manage my own.

When we can stand up and speak our truth, be our authentic selves, we align our energy with the universe in a way that few other actions can do. We chose this life, in this time and place, and the universe wants us to be happy and healthy here. If you aren't being authentic, your energy is out of alignment with the energy we were born with. That's why we have so many issues when we hide who we truly are.

Take a moment now, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Breathe in, hold it, breathe out. Repeat this several times until you feel calm and safe. Then ask yourself, how have I hidden myself from others? Then listen to the answer.

For me, today, my answer was, "My weight." I've been overweight all my life, but it's gotten more out of hand in the past several years. I don't feel well most of the time, and my body is telling me it's not happy with pain. I hide in that fat girl so people can just look past me because I fear being seen, judged, and found wanting. I've lost weight several times in my life, but each time, I've gained it back. Subconsciously I know that being the center of attention is something I fear and when I was thinner, I was more seen.

Once you have your answer, ask yourself, are you happy as a result of hiding or do you feel you're missing out on things? I know now I feel I'm missing out on things because there are days when my pain is so bad, I don't want to get out of bed.

Then ask yourself, what are you going to do about it. That's the sticking point, isn't it? The action to make a change? I'm going to go back to my tapping practice for weight loss. I felt better when I was doing it and I don't know why I stopped. I have to do something to be more authentically myself again. And so do you!

What are you hiding and how will you now share it with your world?

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New Moon in Capricorn - December 26, 2019

New Moon in Capricorn - December 26, 2019

December’s new moon in Capricorn is a clue from the universe to prepare yourself for an energy boost toward working on yourself and your goals. This is the moon to use for working to mature in many ways, organize your life and goals, take responsibility for your life and goals and allow your ambition to run a little wild.

This moon is connected to Jupiter, so expect luck, growth and expansion to be part of the energy you are working with.

If you worked with shedding baggage and blocks during the December Cold Moon, then you will now see how to fill in those spaces you created in your journey. You’ll want to prepare yourself for all of these things as well as the energy found at the end of this year.

Expect to be busy with projects and goals during this new moon, while building toward the next steps in these areas. Remember to take time for self-care so you don’t wear yourself out before you’re finished with the work.

Keep success at the forefront of your mind and it will be yours. That’s what this moon is about, bringing success to fruition in your life.

Crystal Grid for the New Moon and Success

You will need:

Aventurine for Opportunity

Sodalite for Truth

Citrine for Success

Clear Quartz for Amplification

Rose Aura Quartz for Mood Lifting

Green Fluorite for Stabilization

Tiger’s Eye for Protection

I’ve done a more free form grid for this moon. Arrange your stones however they speak to you. I like circles, but you can truly make your grid any shape you like.

Once you’ve completed your grid, don’t forget to empower it and energize it. The photo below is of my empowered grid for success, wealth, and abundance. If you can’t make a grid of your own for whatever reason, please feel free to use mine. Add your energy and intent to the photo and use it in place of a physical grid.

Finished Grid

As you can see, I’ve placed a clear quartz point at the center and along the center line. All of the points are pointing into the center to bring these energies into your life. The Rose Aura Quartz is the rest of the inner circle. The next circle alternates citrine and tiger’s eye with the sodalite finishing out the center line. The outer ring alternates aventurine with fluorite.

I recommend setting up your grid the night of the new moon and leaving it up until the next full moon so it can continue to work while you act in alignment.

I’ve prepared a free resource packet for this new moon that you can get by clicking HERE.

I hope you have enjoyed this blog post. Please, if you haven’t already, subscribe to receive notice when I post new materials here. You can also check out my free podcast. I talk about a lot of things on this podcast, so there’s bound to be something you like. You can find the podcast HERE or search for Energy, Tarot, and Magic wherever you listen to podcasts.

Yule--Winter Solstice

Hello and Welcome to this episode of the Energy, Tarot and Magic podcast. Today’s episode addresses Yule and includes a ritual and crystal grid to help you celebrate.

Yule--Winter Solstice

Yule is a celebration of birth and the start of new cycles. It is the time when the day begins to overtake the night once again and when the old man of winter gives way to the young man of spring, though he won’t come into his own power for some time.

Just like the rest of the holidays of this season, Yule is a celebration of family and life and light. Many of those who celebrate yule in favor of other winter holidays do so in ways that bring together those whom they love and cherish. The ritual I’m going to share with you in this podcast is more for the small group or individual practitioner than for the family.

I have done rituals over the years for and including children. The only changes I made to my usual ritual habits was to make the candle battery operated so there would be no accidents with children brushing up against flames.

Something that might help to include children in this kind of ritual is the remember that ritual is supposed to be a celebration. Have fun. Laugh when something funny happens during the ritual, let things take their own course and be open to a little chaos.

I hope that you and yours are enjoying your holiday season and I wish you all a happy new year.

The Ritual

December 21st Yule represents the death of the Holly King and the beginning of the reign of the Oak or Sun God. This is the time when the Goddess gives birth to the Sun God so she may take him as Consort during her transition from Maiden to Mother.

Yule is an excellent time for personal renewal and honoring our family and friends.

Materials:

• Yule Incense

• Red, White and Green Candles

• Oats

Preparing the Altar: Place the white candle on the left of center of your altar and the red candle on the right of center.

Place the green candle slightly in the front of the the white and red candles and centered.

The white candle represents the Goddess, the red the Holly King. The green candle represents the Oak King.

Arrange the rest of your altar as you normally would.

The Ritual:

1. Open your ritual as you normally would.

Hail and Welcome to the spirits and powers of the North, East, South and West. I ask you to join me this night as we mourn the passing of the Holly King and rejoice in the birth of the Oak King.

2. Light the White Candle

Holy Mother, your love and light blesses my life with each moment you place your hand on my heart. This night we will mourn the loss of your consort and rejoice in the birth of your son. Hail and Welcome.

3. Light the Red Candle

To the Holly King, I offer my welcome and love. Your love and light has been felt each day of your reign. This night while we mourn your passing, we do so with the joy of knowing your child of the Sun will be reborn. Hail and Welcome

4. Take time to contemplate your life and the lives of your friends and family. Consider your blessings of the past year and thank the Divine for these blessings. Meditate on these blessings and consider how you might continue to bring these blessings to you and your loved ones.

5. When you are ready, take the green candle in your hand and prepare to light it from the flame of the red candle. As the days grow longer, the blessings of my life will grow. We now mourn the closing of the reign of the Holy King, knowing that as each cycle passes, it brings new blessings and opportunities with it. Just as the Holy King passes his power to his son the Oak King, so too will the Goddess and her son guard and love me through this cycle. The birth of the Oak King is a blessing each year at this time. The depths of winter are lit by your light and your love sustains us through this time. Hail and Welcome.

6. Light the green candle from the flame of the red candle. Set the green candle down. My lord Holly King, your blessings have brought so much to my life this year. I thank you for your influence and your love. I wish you peace as you rest and look forward to the time of your return. Hail and Farewell.

7. Make the offering.

My lady and lord of this winter cycle, your love lights us and warms us. The days now grow longer and the earth will live again. Thank you for all you give to your children. I offer to you this sustenance as you offer your love to sustain me. (make the offering of oats).

8. Meditate for a few moments on your plans for the coming year. You do not need to be specific now, but consider the direction your year will take. Think about how you will work in accord with the power of the Goddess and her Son to make the coming year better.

9. When you are ready, thank the divine for their presence.

My Lord and Lady, thank you for your presence here this night as well as your constant presence in my life. With each step I take, I see and feel you walking with me. You are the light and love of the universe. Hail and Farewell. (Extinguish the white and green candles).

10. Release the elements.

To the powers of earth, air, fire and water, I thank you for your presence here this night. Your love and energy has helped me to celebrate this changing cycle. Hail and Farewell.

After the Ritual:

Set the three candles from this ritual aside to be used in later sabbats of the year. Remember they are representative of the Goddess, her Consort and her Son, so store them with honor.

I have created a Yule Materials Packet you can download for free from HERE.

My show notes are available in the description for this episode.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this sample Yule ritual. If you’d like a copy for yourself, please click the link in the description of this episode to download the Yule Materials Packet I’ve prepared as my gift to my listeners this season. It includes this ritual, a crystal grid you’ll want to use in your home during this season and a fun check list of things to do before the holiday.

Thank you for joining me for this episode. If you haven’t already done so, I hope you’ll subscribe to this podcast to get notice when there is new content. If you ever have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. You can use the voice message feature on Anchor.fm or find me on Facebook. Just search for Energy, Tarot, and Magic and you’ll find me.

Get shoutouts and other perks when you support my patreon. There’s a special offer right now that gives you a place of honor on all my podcasts if you sign up as a patron by the 27th of December. Check it out on my Patreon at www.patreon.com/shariamalin.

Thanks for listening and I hope to see you next time. In love and Light I wish you a Merry Yule and Happy New Year

Would you like a free Yule Ritual and Crystal Grid?

Just click to submit this form and you'll get one from me!

Daily Tarot Outlook Reading for 12132019

Is now available on my podcast. Click HERE to listen or subscribe where you listen to podcasts on anchor.fm or Spotify.

Full Moon in Gemini - December 12, 2019

Full Moon in Gemini - December 12, 2019

The full moon in Gemini for the December Cold Moon will occur at 12:12 am on 12/12/19. This will be an emotional rollercoaster kind of full moon with the emotional baggage and clock clearing energy it carries. Be ready to be unsettled and emotional. Prepare for the moon by deciding what you want to leave behind when it’s over. It’s key to be prepared and ready to shed whatever is no longer serving you because this Full Moon is also about expansion. You need to make room for all the great things you are bringing to your life in this cycle.

I recommend using the Full Moon Worksheet I’ve prepared for you to help you stay focused on what you want to use the energy for during your ritual. I offer two free worksheets for working with the New and Full moon. Please click HERE if you’d like to get these free worksheets.

For this full moon, I prepared a crystal grid to help me release the blockages and baggage that will be so energetically active during this full moon.

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Full Moon Crystal Grid

You will need

Amethyst for releasing emotional baggage

Aquamarine for calm reflection

Blue Topaz for confidence while working through emotional baggage

Citrine for releasing negativity

Rainbow Moonstone for easing pain

Rose quartz for releasing fear and resentment

Kunzite for removing blockages

I used the Seed of Life with Star of David Grid for this grid. I have very little space in my home right now so, I’ve been using this grid, inside a cigar box, to keep the grids from being disturbed while they work. You can, of course, use whatever grid you like to make yours.

What to Do

The amethyst is in the center, then the aquamarine is placed above and below it. I only own two small pieces of aquamarine, so if you have more, use them!

I then filled that circle with pieces of blue topaz. Yes, they’re tiny (they came from one of those gemstone bottles you can get at touristy places), but the size or perfection of a stone doesn’t affect the efficacy of the energy in it.

The next circle alternates rainbow moonstone with citrine.

The outside edge alternates rose quartz and kunzite.

The next step is to empower your grid with your purpose and intent. This is why the worksheets are so helpful. They’ll help you plan out your purpose and intent before you begin your work.

If you are unfamiliar with empowering grids, objects or stones, I do offer a FREE mini course called Energy Work for Everyone. If you’d like to enroll in this course, please click HERE. There’s no catch and no cost. Just click the link and fill in your name and email address. You’ll receive the link to the course in your email within a few minutes.

Once the grid is empowered, I do recommend sitting it where it can be in the moonlight over night, but this is not critical to your success.

Your next step, then, is to take action. Go back to the Full Moon Worksheet and review your action steps. What will you DO to take action on your goals and purpose? Remember, a goal without action is just a wish.

Set your grid where it won’t be disturbed until you dismantle it at the next new moon.

Crystal Journey Visualization

I also recorded a crystal journey visualization to help you shed your baggage. You can find it on my Podcast in the the first episode.

Click below to listen or search Energy, Tarot, and Magic on Anchor.fm and Spotify.